MTB and Mating

I skipped out of work early today and hit the trails. I had planned to go home and do some P90x, but I just couldn't resist the weather. With just a couple of weeks of late daylight left, I want to get in as many afternoon rides as possible. I have developed quite a MTB addiction. I don't know if i will be able to maintain my sanity if I have to wait for the weekend to eat some dirt. (Sarah is probably grinning ear to ear as I write.)

My legs were a bit tired from the weekend running and cycling so I decided to take it easy and enjoy the outdoors. I have never really been able to enjoy the ride. I never had the fitness or the skill to relax in the woods, not to mention my fear of being in the woods alone. I always feel Jason or a Grizzly bear is waiting at every corner. I have started riding with my IPOD shuffle and that seems to take the edge off. I have finally developed some skill and I am reaping the benefits of the end of the year Triathlons and weight loss.

I was coasting around a corner when I had to slam on the brakes and grab a tree. Just up ahead, on the trail, were four deer. I didn't see any antlers, so these were does, the female deer. With the weather getting colder, the deer are nearing mating season. With that many doe in one area, I was sure there was an anxious male nearby. As I suspected, the big boy was about twenty yards to my left. He had a small body but his antlers had eight points.

I decided to just hang out and watch for a few minutes. The four doe moved about thirty yards and stopped to wait on him. He was motionless and eyeballing me. He was either worried about me shooting him or stealing one of his ladies. Obviously, I had interrupted the mating process and he was not happy. I can't blame him, I would be very upset if someone interrupted me during the mating process.

He had things setup well. He had four ladies show up to his pad. Four to one odds are pretty awesome in the animal kingdom. Oddly enough, that is not top notch odds for men. You really need like thirty to one odds to feel like you have a chance with women. I don't think the ladies understand how hard it was dating as a young man. The fear of rejection was crippling, especially knowing you needed either good looks or good conversation skills to make any progress.

Hey, if you are a deer, all you have to do is rub your antlers on a tree and pee near the tree. If there is an interested lady in the area, she will go to your spot and and duplicate your process. Sooner or later the two of you meet at tree and all is well. How easy would it be if the human mating process was that easy? Well, that might not be a good idea, men would go around peeing on everything.