Solving Life's biggest Issues

With the help of a colleague, I have come up with a plan to solve several of the biggest issues in life.

My wife and I will be taking a vacation next week. Well, most people don't think doing and Ironman is a vacation, but it is our idea fun. As you all know, preparing for a vacation is no easy task. The preparation at work is the worst of all.

I had a meeting with my staff a couple of weeks ago. The goal was to solve as many issues as possible before I left for vacation. I wanted to have a vacation with little or no work contact. Being in technology, there is always a list of issues and the list is long.

The last three weeks have been extremely productive in our technology department. We have solved more issues in the past three weeks than we have in the last 6 months. We have been solving those big issues that have been lingering for months. We solved two of the biggest issues today. I headed to the tech lab to mark them off the list.

As I marked the items off the list, one of the engineers added two more items to the list. You might as well have kicked me in the rear. I was heart broken. I looked at one of the engineers and said, "I guess it never ends". To which she replied, "Like laundry and dishes".

Hmmmm, I have been in quite the problem solving mood lately. What are the odds of me solving this laundry and dishes issue?

After just a short discussion, with my colleague, we figured it out.

"Edible Clothing"

Before you get kinky on me and dismiss my theory, hear me out.

Lets say you could design your clothing to meet the nutritional needs of the body. Certain sections of clothing could cover certain food groups. With advances in technology, surely we could add any taste desired to an edible fabric. If we can accomplish the nutritional value and the taste, surely we could still make the clothing fashionable.

If you eat your clothing all day, there will not be any laundry to do when you get home. The clothing will be biodegradable, so you can use the leftovers as natural fertilizer for your yard. If you are only eating your clothing, then there is need for dishes.

We have just solved the laundry and dishes issues. But hey, lets not stop there, lets solve a couple of more issues.

If we can control the taste and nutritional value of the clothing, then we have just solved the overweight problem. You can assign nutritional value to the clothing based on the size of the person. There would be a simple formula for determining how many calories a person wearing medium size clothing would need to stay slim. If you go down a size, that size has fewer calories and therefore will reduce you daily caloric intake and continue to effortlessly control your weight. Besides, if you are going to be stripping off your clothing all day in public, you need to have a presentable physique.

This brings us to the most important issue facing our society, SEX. No one seems to be getting enough physical contact from their significant other. We either don't have enough time or we are too tired to engage. If we do away with the laundry and dishes, we have already freed up enough time. If we are controlling our weight, through calorie controlled clothing, we will all be healthier and have more energy. To increase the desire, we can make the undergarments in more suitable dessert flavor, maybe chocolate?

We could build on this idea and solve even more issues. This could possible take care of some of our health care issues.

I have done enough problem solving for now. It is time to shut down the think tank and get ready for vacation.

I will have a full Ironman report when I return.

Good night to all and to all a good night!